QI suffer from C-PTSD, social anxiety, panic disorder, chronic insomnia and major depression disorder?

I started seeing a psychologist (I see him every week) at the start of this year and started seeing a psychiatrist about 2 weeks ago. I've been on an array of anti-depressants and a whole bunch of different anxiety meds over the past 6 months. But I still can't see a big improvement. I'm seeing my psychiatrist next week, but right now I just have a general question.



For over a year now I have always felt this very strong desire to become intoxicated. Doesn't matter on what substance, I just do not want to feel the way I do. It is especially prominent at night when I am trying to sleep (yet cannot succeed). I disagree with the chronic abuse of drugs, but I can't stop myself from thinking this. Is this normal? Is it ever going to go away? and what can I do to try and help myself right now.