HI, I'M 26 year old guy. Never dated, never had a girlfriend. I'm trying to accept my life as it is but its very hard. I'm not able to find partner from many different reasons. I am heterosexual and obviously I need woman. But with my looks and social anxiety, it's impossible. I have learnt to deal with being ugly and not being accepted and acknowledged by females, but what I'm really missing is a soulmate, someone i can talk to, hold hands, kiss.....
I can't afford therapy. It really hurts me when I my friends having girlfriends and I'm still single. Once my father told me "Dont think about thinks that you cant change" but i find it so difficult. It effect my job as well as I cant concentrate and feel blue all the time. No woman ever showed interest in me. Everybody is telling me that I have to be confident, dress nice etc. but those thinks only help if you are attractive or at least moderately attractive which i'm deffinately not. I have hobbies but they dont bring me as much plessure as before. I have feeling I have missed my boat. In my age I should have girlfriend or even be married. It's not my fault because I didn't choose the way I look.
My friend gave me advice once and said that when we go clubbing, I should approach the least attractive female, because my chances would be high plus I won't be that nervous. Unfortunately women in that category are giving me cold shoulders too. Since my standards are not high and I did make and effort to look better (I went to gym and bought new clothes, lost quite lot of weight), I still get no results.
I Dont believe in saying "beauty is in the eye of beholder" or "there is someone for everyone " or "love will find you one day". It cant be futher from truth. I have become very bitter person and stop smiling but do you still wonder why? If you keep getting rejected and putting effort with no result whatsoever, everyone would get bitter. Its human nature. And internet dating is the worst because thats the place when you are truly judged by your looks. And I cant use my looks to find partner.
I wasnt like that before, I all started when I hit 25 and realized that im still single. I dint care much before. Because of that I have already had major depressive disorder and anyone who experienced that knows how terrible that is.
I just need to find the way to accept my situation and live with it. But I dont know how? Any advice will be appreciated. And please dont tell me to try men because im not gay. Thank you.